Care packages

Sympathy Gifts in Australia: What to Send, What to Say and What to Skip

What to send someone who is grieving, how much to spend, what to write on the card, and how to send from another state, including the quiet weeks after the funeral.

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The short answer

Sympathy Gifts in Australia

Send something small and plain: a card in your own words, a meal or snacks the household can eat without cooking, and flowers to the funeral only if the family wants them. Then send something again a few weeks later, when the visitors have gone home and the house is quiet. Below is what to send, how much to spend, what to write on the card and how to do it from another state.

When to send, and why later counts as much as now

There's no deadline on kindness, so don't hold back because you think you've missed the moment. A card that turns up a week after the funeral is still welcome.

In the first few days a household is busy and crowded. Flowers arrive, food arrives, the phone doesn't stop. The part that's easy to forget is what comes after: the funeral is done, everyone has gone back to work, and the casseroles stop. We'd put your effort into that stretch. A card or parcel that lands then says you're still thinking of them when most people have moved on.

Birthdays, the anniversary of the death, Christmas and Mother's or Father's Day can all be hard days. A short message on one of them costs nothing and is often remembered.

Funeral flowers, or something that isn't flowers

Flowers are the traditional choice for a funeral, and a local florist will deliver them to the service or the family home if you order with the details. Ring the funeral director or the florist first. Funeral directors have their own arrangements, and the death notice sometimes asks for no flowers and suggests a donation instead. If it does, follow it.

Flowers last a few days and then someone has to deal with the vase. That's fine for a funeral, where they're part of the day. For a gift at home, something that gets used up usually works better: food, tea, coffee, a bath soak, a candle. Plants can feel like one more thing to keep alive, so we'd think twice.

Families have different customs, colours and wishes. If you're not sure what's right, ask someone close to the family, or send a card and a meal and leave the rest.

How much to spend

There isn't a set figure, and none of the Australian florist and hamper pages we read gave one. For a sense of the range, Interflora Australia's sympathy flower arrangements started from $89 when we checked its sympathy gifts page on 25 October 2026.

Our rule of thumb: spend about what you'd spend taking them out for a good dinner, and less if you don't know them well. A card costs nothing. A workplace can pool money for one proper gift rather than ten small ones. And keep it modest enough that nobody feels they must reply or repay it. A smaller gift at the right moment beats a lavish one at the wrong one.

The first few days are crowded. It's the quiet weeks after that most people forget.

What to send, and who to send it to

Think about what a grieving household actually runs out of: energy, time and the will to cook. Things that take a decision off their plate are usually the best.

  • A meal they don't have to cook: a delivery voucher, or a home-cooked meal in a container they don't need to return. Ask about allergies and diets first.
  • Snacks for the house. Tea, coffee, biscuits, fruit, things people can graze on while a lot of visitors come and go.
  • Help offered as a specific. "I'll do school pick-up on Thursday" or "I'll walk the dog on Saturday" beats "let me know if you need anything", which leaves the work with them.
  • Something for them rather than for the loss: soft socks, a candle, a bath soak, good tea.
  • Something small for any children in the house, who are easy to overlook.
  • A photo of the person you took yourself, with a line about the memory, if you know the family would want it.

We'd leave alcohol out unless you know them well. A lot of ready-made hampers include a bottle by default, so check the contents.

The family, or the person closest to the loss

If the whole household is grieving, address it to the family ("the Harrisons") so nobody feels it's meant for someone else. If a friend has lost a parent, send it to your friend by name. Their parent's household will have its own cards and flowers, and your friend is the one who may be forgotten.

Sending to someone you can't visit

Distance is the most common reason people send nothing. It shouldn't be. A phone call, a card and one practical gift covers most of it.

  • For the first days, use something local: a florist near them, or a meal delivery voucher you can send by email.
  • For the weeks after, a parcel sent from anywhere in Australia works, because it only needs to arrive eventually. Sending food to WA or Tasmania has biosecurity rules, so read what's allowed before you send.
  • Send it to their home, not the funeral home or a wake. A parcel at a service is one more thing for the family to carry home. If you do want to send something to a service, ring the funeral director first.
  • Tell them it's coming. A short text with the tracking details means they aren't surprised by a knock at the door on a day they can't face it.

Our guide to thinking of you gifts covers the wider question of what to send when it isn't a bereavement.

What to write on the card

Keep it short and plain. Don't explain the loss, don't try to fix it, and don't ask them to reply. Here are some you can use as they are or change:

  • I'm so sorry about [name]. No need to reply. I'm thinking of you.
  • I don't have the right words, so I'm sending a small something instead. I'm here for company or quiet, whichever you need.
  • Thinking of you and your family this week. I'll ring on Sunday, and it's fine if you don't pick up.
  • A few weeks have gone by and I wanted you to know I haven't forgotten. Put your feet up. I'm around.
  • I'm thinking of [name] today, and of you. Eat something. Sleep if you can. Nothing else is needed.
  • For a colleague: Thinking of you, [name]. Take all the time you need. Work can wait.
  • For a family: With love to all of you. We're remembering [name] too.

Things to skip: "at least...", "they're in a better place", "everything happens for a reason", "I know how you feel" and "let me know if you need anything". If you want to share a memory, one specific line about the person does more than a paragraph of comfort. Signing off with your name and nothing else is fine.

Where a Same Skies box fits, and where it doesn't

We pack gift boxes by hand in Sydney and send them with Australia Post anywhere in Australia. We'll be straight about this: they were made for cheering people up and saying thinking of you, not for bereavement, and a box is a gesture, not a replacement for showing up. It also isn't quick. Delivery takes roughly 3 to 7 business days to reach most of Australia, so for the first days use a florist or a meal voucher. Where a box can help is the quiet weeks later.

If you do choose one, be choosy. The Hug Away From Home Box has a Hand-Poured Soy Candle, a Botanical Bath Soak, Candy Kittens Strawberry sweets, an A3 Matte Art Print (unframed) and a Crochet Comfort Companion, a small crocheted character. That character is playful. Some grieving people would love it, others would find it too much, and you'll know which they are. The box also has Marc de Champagne Truffles, which have a Marc de Champagne centre. Marc de Champagne is a grape brandy, so they may not suit someone who avoids alcohol, or a house with young children.

The Gift Box for Her has no truffles: it has a Collagen Hydration Mask, a Botanical Bath Soak, a Sculpted Bubble Candle, Candy Kittens Strawberry sweets, GNAW Milk Chocolate, the print and a Crochet Comfort Companion. The Traveller is travel-themed and the wrong tone. If none of it feels right, the gift builder lets you choose six or eight items yourself. Your words sit behind a QR code on a premium card inside the box, up to 280 characters, which is room for any message above.

Looking after the person sending, too

If you're the one supporting someone and it's heavy, you don't have to carry it alone. Griefline offers free, confidential support on 1300 845 745, Monday to Friday, 10am to 8pm AEST or AEDT, and its website has a section on supporting a grieving friend. If someone's life is in danger, call 000.

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Build your own

Start with an empty box. Fill it with them.

The real builder, exactly as you'll see it.

Choose every piece from the UK, pick a print that feels like them, then add your letter with a photo or video behind the QR card. We hand-pack it in Sydney and deliver it in Australia.

  • You choose every piece, and the print on the lid
  • Your letter, plus a free photo or video behind the QR card
  • Built from the UK, hand-packed in Sydney, delivered in Australia only
Build your own Or choose one of our five boxes

Questions people ask

How much should I spend on a sympathy gift?

There's no set amount. As a guide, florist arrangements start from about $89 at Interflora Australia (checked 25 October 2026). Spend roughly what you'd spend on a good dinner out for them, less if you don't know them well, and keep it modest enough that nobody feels they have to repay it.

Is it okay to send a sympathy gift after the funeral?

Yes. Many people find the weeks after a funeral the quietest, when visitors have gone home and the meals have stopped. A card or small gift then shows you haven't forgotten, and there's no deadline.

What can I send instead of flowers?

Food they don't have to cook, such as a meal delivery voucher or a home-cooked meal in a container they can keep, plus tea, coffee or snacks for the house. A practical offer like school pick-up or a dog walk can mean more than an object. Ask about allergies and diets first.

Should I send a sympathy gift to the funeral home?

Ring the funeral director first, because they have their own arrangements and the death notice may ask for no flowers. For a gift that isn't flowers, we'd send it to the family home for the weeks after, so it isn't one more thing to carry home from the service.

What do you write in a sympathy card?

Keep it short and plain: say you're sorry, that you're thinking of them, and that they don't need to reply. Skip lines like 'at least' or 'everything happens for a reason', and offer something specific rather than 'let me know if you need anything'.

Can I send a sympathy gift to someone in another state?

Yes. For the first days use a local florist or an emailed meal voucher. For the weeks after, a parcel from anywhere in Australia works, but check the food rules first if they live in WA or Tasmania.

A few weeks on, send a quiet thinking of you

If you'd like to send something to the person you're thinking of, our thinking of you boxes are packed by hand in Sydney, with free delivery on every box.

See thinking of you gift boxes

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